Walking Securely

“Whoever walks in integrity

  walks securely.”

  –Proverbs 10:9a

The character trait before us this week is integrity. It’s perhaps one of the easiest terms to define on this list; a kind of living where there is a consistency between our internal values and what others see us do. Living it out, of course, is the challenging part. A king of the ancient past said “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely” and I suspect you can think of someone like that. I want to tell you about a former co-worker of my daughter-in-law who took a major step toward a life of integrity nine years ago. To tell his story, I need to give you some background. 

One of the joys of preaching for me has always been the conversations afterwards. My typical routine after a worship service is to stand at a main door so that I can speak to individuals as they depart. While those brief encounters when serving a congregation became a chance to gain helpful pastoral care information or pass on a quick message, such moments have always evoked a wide array of comments on the sermon. 

Many of them are of the “nice job” variety, except when preaching about stewardship.  On those Sundays, the only positive feedback I would get typically came from members of the Stewardship or Finance Committees. Others would mostly make reference to my tie or haircut! 

On the more ordinary mornings, though, someone might say, “You really made me think this morning” or “I’d like to talk with you about that topic in depth later.” I had an older woman in my first congregation whose most frequent comment after worship was “That was sweet!”  I wasn’t sure if she meant the message was comforting or that it was sweet how I was pretending to be a preacher. In either case I never sought a clarification. Not all sermon conversations occurr in the sanctuary, though, as often I will receive emails or a written note a few days later, too.  

I have always appreciated those moments, even when the comment was a corrective one, as it started a conversation that followed pulpit time where I had done all of the talking. The greatest feedback I ever received came after the day I officiated at my oldest grandchild’s baptism. I did not offer the waters of baptism to our children, preferring to stand in that moment only as father, answering the questions posed to all parents. Yet with each grandchild, I was privileged to be asked by the parents and quickly accepted, getting through four baptisms mostly tear free. 

On Father’s Day nine years ago, I was looking forward immensely to that part of the worship service. It was to take place shortly after the sermon. Thus, as I prepared my message for that morning I was balancing the personal joy before me in the baptism to come while also speaking to the horrific events at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando a week earlier.  

I had first heard about the shooting while standing at the sanctuary door the previous Sunday after worship. Upon returning home, I learned the horrific details of 49 people killed and 53 more wounded for the sole reason that all of them were gay. While I don’t remember all that I said in my sermon the following Sunday, I do recall trying to place the joy of my impending moment as a pastor and grandfather alongside the pain from such brutality against members of the LGBTQ community.  

Several weeks later, my daughter-in-law shared with me part of a conversation she had had with a co-worker present for the baptism. A few days afterwards, he told his parents for the first time that he was gay. My daughter-in-law praised him for such bravery and asked how it had come about. He then spoke the words that will forever be the best thing anyone has ever said about one of my homilies. “Your father-in-law’s sermon was the first time in my life that I had ever heard a positive word in a church about being gay,” he said. “It gave me the courage I needed.”

It still humbles me to know what the Holy Spirit did with my words that day, but that young man’s response makes clear that in many cases integrity is a work in progress. His courage with his parents is also a reminder of the key role each of us has to play in modeling and encouraging such a life in others. All in such a way that they and we, in the words of a believer of long ago, might walk securely with every step.

O God who sees the heart and deed, my choices do not always reflect a life of integrity. Help me to grow in that work, inspired by your call and persons I know who walk in such a way. Amen.