And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”–1 Corinthians 13:13
When I was in high school, our church had a pastor named Ellie who worked primarily with teenagers. Ellie was probably in his mid 50s when he began to serve at our congregation. Since I was 14 years old when we first met, I thought he was pretty old! I had my doubts that he was the right person for our group, too, but quickly discovered that Ellie was one of those adults with whom you could talk about anything. He understood us and loved unconditionally; laughed quickly and rolled along with most of our antics. Ellie brought some new traditions, too, including an annual beach trip to Pensacola, Florida, and the project of our writing, directing and filming a year-end movie for the congregation. We, in turn, were devoted to him.
One day, someone in a youth gathering asked Ellie, since he was such a natural with young people, why his wife and he had never had any children of their own. Ellie said they had always wanted to have a child, but had been unable to conceive. As his answer hung in the air, we were embarrassed for having asked such a personal question and raising that painful part of his story. Yet Ellie then went on to tell us how he had come to view that disappointment.
“For a long time, I was bitter over not having a daughter or son of our own. We had prayed to God for years and when it didn’t happen, I felt as if God had let us down. Yet in looking back, I would probably have never worked with youth groups like this one if we had had our own children. I’m convinced that all of you are the children we had been praying for.”
One doesn’t have to have been part of a church youth group to experience that kind of love. It can come from the teacher who takes the extra time we need or the coach who doesn’t care that we have no natural athletic skill. It is shown by the friend who sits with us during the tough times or that person who sends a note of encouragement at just the right time. Each of them display love like Ellie shared. I’m convinced the Apostle Paul would have applauded those kinds of deeds.
The thirteenth chapter of his first letter to the Corinthian Church is among the most familiar parts of the Bible. It’s sometimes referred to as the “love chapter” and is the most requested part of Scripture to be read at weddings I have officiated. To be sure, much of what Paul writes applies to married couples–being patient and kind, refraining from arrogance or boasting, and more. His counsel is certainly fitting for two people setting out in life together.
Yet as one who never married himself, Paul’s audience is broader. As to all people–single and married–he urged a kind of existence the Greeks called agape’. If you Google the term, you will find that it speaks of the kind of love that God has for humankind and the nature of how we are to respond to the One who has given us life. It is meant to be the model for how we love each other, too, in those everyday acts that demonstrate care for others as a unique child of God.
For me and some Presbyterian peers in the 1970s, it is also heard as a call to love as Ellie did us.
O Perfect Love, we thank you for those people who embody the best of that trait in our lives. May their impact and your model empower us to do the same. Amen.
Ellie was “one of a kind” for sure 🥹Thanks for sharing this story as a reminder of him and his special spirit❤️
John, this is a beautifully written and illustrated, heart-felt piece. We can discuss later being ready to publish any work that you produce. This story, although real and true, also serves an allegorical tale of how we should all want to be loved. Yet, our world has many horrible stories about people who have never and will never experience the kind of love called agape. The more stories like this are told, the more hope we can have for the future. I have always believed that there are more good people than bad people in the world. I can only imagine that the male and female “Ellies” out there are plentiful, and when we encounter them, we’ll know them for sure. Amen.
Your story reminds me so much of how God’s love gives us just what we need,even when we don’t know it. He gave me my Sunshine Singers just after I lost my son, Jeff. They brought the joy back into my life that I thought I would never experience again.
It does seem a bit cruel that the almighty would deny children (if desired) while extending the oak branch of some sort of surrogate parenting through youth groups and students, particularly while we see scores of so-called parents who aren’t fit to raise an ant farm. My own thought is that God does not interfere with the biological processes so as to grant or deny fertility, any more than God reaches in to cure some and let others die. Still, those who are incapable of bearing children may be granted an even greater blessing, such as was the case with Ellie. The glory of it all is that Ellie seemed to have appreciated that gift.
I once had an aunt who was childless, despite exercising all of the medical efforts of that day, and another aunt and uncle who experienced precisely the same thing. While I do not know whether any of these relatives were granted Ellie’s depth of knowledge, I do know that they were all much loved by other children in the family as well as by others in the community at large. They offered to us an outlet, a sympathetic ear, and advice that simply could not have been provided by our parents.
Love the reminder, John, that we all have an important part to play in the Lord’s plan for us. We just need to find it, accept it and share it with the same love that it was given to us.
I once heard Agape love described as the sort of love that flows THROUGH us rather than FROM us. I like to think of it that way. Ellie was a valve, or a nozzle, even, directing the flow of God’s love to those around him.