“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son.”

–John 3:16a

During a clergy gathering years ago, I had the opportunity to visit Transitions of Columbia, South Carolina. That group helps move individuals from homelessness to permanent  housing. Since its founding in 2011, Transitions has placed more than 3400 persons. It’s a  place that also provides lunch and clothing, somewhere to wash clothes and receive counseling,  but its prime focus is shelter: emergency, respite and long-term. 

At one point during our visit, we met with a staff member named John who I’m guessing was in his late 30s at the time. He filled us in on some of the details as to how Transitions operates and then just before leading us on a tour asked if we had any questions.  After a few queries, one of my colleagues asked “Can you tell us how you became part of this ministry?”  “Do you want the real story?” he replied. Assured that we did, he began to talk.

“I grew up in a racist, violent home near here,” John began.  “I witnessed abuse toward my mother and me for years until she finally got the courage to move us out.  I was a product of that environment in all kinds of ways and was headed down the wrong path, until I met my third grade teacher. She was an African-American woman.  One day in class she made me angry about something and I called her a bad word,” uttering that offensive term we all know.

“My teacher immediately took me out into the hall,” he continued “and while I don’t remember all she said, it was something like this. ‘You and I are different from each other, but we’re going to find a way to work together.’  She kept me after class for 33 straight days and drove me home each afternoon. I lost track of her after I headed to college,” John continued, ”but a few years ago I ran into her again.  She told me that she would be retiring soon and asked me to speak at the ceremony.  I was honored. 

“When the day came, I shared with the group my story and what I had said to her on that day long before and how she turned me around.  And I told them the very first thing she said to me when we both stood in that hallway was this. “I love you, and we are different from each other, but we’re going to find a way to work together.’ It all started with love.”

His words ring true. Why do parents put up with the antics of a 2 year old or teenaged child who is longing for independence?  Why do friends remain consistently present with one who struggles with addiction? Why do spouses remain committed  to the other through the ups and downs of life? They can do so for all kinds of motivations–determination, a sense of obligation, or more–but It best starts from a place of love. There are times when we must still set boundaries or impose consequences on the other for their actions, but as a third grade teacher of the past demonstrated, we have the greatest impact when our choices begin with love.  Scripture agrees.

”For God so loved the world,” the Fourth Gospel proclaims “that he gave his only son.”  That line is the most familiar Biblical citation even for people who don’t know the words as John 3:16 is part of popular culture. It appears on hand-held signs at athletic events and concludes that Keith Urban hit: “everything I needed to know was John Cougar, John Deere, and John 3:16.”  Yet at its most basic level, those words explain why God went to all of the trouble of taking on human form and allowed that cherished son to die for you and me.  

It all started with love. It’s still the best beginning point for you and me as well.  

Wondrous God, we are humbled by the result of your love for all humankind.  Help us to choose the same starting place, especially with those persons who challenge us most. Amen.